oright
so... actually , this post isn't really about my flaws ... well it is , but NOT the FLAW FLAW (if you get me) , gosh hello la people! I'm just a girl , 15 and insecure, of course I wanted to look perfect, but of course , at random times , I just wished to escape from chasing perfection.
Hello ,
My name is Nur Fatin Afiqah and my if I'm not mistaken , my grandma gave me the name. Truthfully , the name Nur Fatin Afiqah was quite an okay-okay for me , I don't LOVE it nor do I hate , the name sounded boring and english people might have a hard time pronouncing it , even malays sometimes ,some of my ugama teachers kept pronouncing 'A-FIEQQQQ-AH' lol it annoys me sometimes , but I lived with it
I am 15 , and yes I have a boy friend , we've been dating since 26th of July 2012 , I know it has only been a short period (tomorrow's our 9th monthsarry , yay!) but I kinda felt that , as I go on a life with him , I changed a lot , well at least a bit la , haha. we've had fights , small and big .. several big fights had been goin' on recently , which I will talk about that later. so far , we're fine , I'm kinda close with his little brother , which is a very adorable cartoonish-faced kid name nizam <3.<3 and I've texted her sister when we changed phone , and sort of close with his cousin (I'm not sure who's older , we're both 97' tho , but he called me 'kaka') .. soooo.. ya I'm pretty sure my love life is boring. next!
patience , recently , I think I'm in a pretty good mood (that explains why I'm making a post , lol) after my boyfriend and I had this HUGE fight , which I cried a lot, punched the wall , did not concentrate on the exam (yeah man , wtf does the huge fight happens a day before my exam? thank goodness the first few days of exam was just math , physics and not so lot of memorizing). Yeah , this girl sort of flirted with my boy friend and she's his workmate , I was kind of pissed off but it's all set , I'm winning cos' I deserved to , I met her yesterday , she's a cashier, her voice is really sweet (which my bf called it lanji , just to make me feel better cos' my voice was raising up yesterday lol) and she was an Okay, not as 'bitch-you-goin'-down-and-Imma-take-yo-boy-with-meh' type of girl as I would expect . I kinda thanked myself for being patient , can't imagine If i lose control and whacked her @$$ out of my face at the mall , lol that would've been funnier.
Face , My face is a bit unexplainable ,sometimes it just looks huge and round and weird , sometimes it looks like an inverted triangle , sometimes like a triangle , I guess angles really make a huge difference when it comes to selcas. My jaw is a bit round , my forehead is a bit huge , but not hugeass , just a bit . and my skin tone is sort of normal(haven't really recovered from my sunburn , but it's fine , it's not that obvious). This 'normal' skin tone is always mistaken by people, when my bf's workmates saw me , the were like 'putih jua gfmu ah' ,calm yo @$$ down , according to the garnier skin tone scale , I'm an 8 , which is a very normal skin tone for bruneian . check it out yourself on google . I've had a friend who has a skin tone about 1 shade lighter than me , and she just looked normal , mahn. I don't go 'wow! putih eh', neither does everyone , but our skin tone were uneven . oright done with that , I'm having a huge breakouts around my face lately , or sort-of breakouts , I can feel the small bumps (pimples , to be exact) around my jawline , and there's some around my hair line (forehead) and around my cheeks (which I'm still confused either no one dares to tagur me , or is it just invisible to everyone) but it's ok , I'm just gonna hope my smooth flawless secondary 1 face will go back :') I love you , flawless , silky cheeks(without too much fat):'*
anws , here comes the big part which always made me feel insecure
my body
my freaking body
so , a week ago , I measured my own body , I am a 36-29-39 (inch) pretty huge huh? I probably had the wrong measurement around my bust (no need to explain , pls make a good research for celeb's body measurement, hint : kim K) because I felt that my body was a bit plain , not so damn curvy hot-hot bikini babe type , I'm probably just a plain-Jane with some curves , and yes I am fat , but I don't get those typical 'layered' fat around my body which some girls , skinnier than me had em' layers hanging around their tight p.e shirt , I was scared cos' I thought I actually had those and didn't realised , but naaah~ my friend said I don't , and I looked at mah hugeass mirror everyday just to find out.turns out probably , those people with layered fat are probably the type who has small bone structure and collects fat a lot , while my body has a huge bone structure (idk , wide ribcage? if that makes sense) and my fats doesn't clinge around very well. haha , but yes I am still fat. I tried diets before , but none works for me ~ so .. yeah , never took any diet pills cos' when I actually told my dad I'm planning on taking diet pills (cos I was desperate , and getting bored with my fats) my dad laughed , it wasnt even funny.I swear there were times I tried collecting money for diet pills but I ended up using them to buy fats aka food :p FatMe FML.
so that's probably all , cos' my brother's laptop running out of battery.
and buh-teh-wayh people , the reason why I am not posting any more posts simply because i don't really use laptops anymore.
